I somehow manage to go 15 - 20 minutes without thinking about it, especially when I get busy with something at work. When it eventually creeps back into my mind it hits me like a ton of bricks, like I'm finding out again for the very first time. I don't think the sting of the news is going to go away. Everytime I think of it my stomach turns. I tell myself things like "God is good and His mercy is forever" but good grief I sure could use some peace right about now.
We're still trying to make a decision about an amniocentesis. More people have weighed in with their concerned opinion than I care to count. I know they're trying to help but their scaring me more than anything else. Mark and I need to make the decision that's right for us...and that's hard enough to figure out on our own.
Nights are hard. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night (mainly because I can't sleep on my stomach anymore) and I am so delirious I start to wonder if I dreamt it all. Then I remember and that makes it harder to fall asleep again.
I found a new singer I like alot, Kari Jobe from Gateway Church....I think that's the name of her church. Anyhow, she's the worship leader there. I have burned myself a CD with her song You Are Good...I played it at work all day. I just needed to hear someone tell me all day that God is good.
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