Seriously, it should be a cardinal rule that both parents can not be sick at the same time. It's AWFUL. I mean, when in the world are you supposed to take a nap? Being sick is all about napping and when I was the only sick last time, I slept all day. It was glorious, except for the being sick part.
I mean really, you should see us. Both laying on the couch pretending to be asleep when Isabel comes out to announce that the baby has pooped. Mark kept his eyes closed, I really didn't hear her...and so she was left to figure it out. I laughed at the crooked diaper later but was still grateful I didn't have to get up and take care of it. Mark however, faked his way through the ordeal and I'm sure Isabel is going to read this and come out of her room and tell us that we suck. Oh well, is sucking means I don't have to get up from this comfy couch than suck I must, I guess.
But then it hit me. Dear God, I have to feed these creatures. Can't they just eat candy, or fruit by the foot, or some other equally terrible thing that will make them happy? I mean, how many Dum Dum lollipops does it take to fill a kid up? 12? I've got that many. So I plodded off to the grocery store in this miserable Maryland humidity cursing under my breath that people were actually hungry (terrible right?) and plus I needed more Mucinex, or something to knock my sorry self out tonight. I made Isabel go with me, cause isn't that why God gave me a 13 year old? Side bar, I heard her apologize to someone in the aisle cause she was blocking their view and she said, "oh, I'm sorry sir, I'll move over" and in my sickness I paused to thank God that I had a fantastic kid - even if I do have to feed her.
(Side note - Charlotte didn't take a nap today and is bugging the daylights out of me as I try to type this. Right now I am holding about 18 things in my lap, including a doll named Tirzah because somehow this kid thinks I am going to pay with her right now. Whatever kid. I'll play along.)
So I decided to make spaghetti because it is easy and I have almost everything I need. So I 'm in the store, getting a few things when the cashier behind starts loudly talking to another cashier about why he can't get someone's WIC card to work. The customer's eyes begged for him to lower his voice but he continued to announce her financial situation to all of registers 6, 7, and 8. (And a note to all of my friends who think that WIC is an entitlement program of the government and are getting ready to post something stupid below - stop now. Some people legitimately need WIC and yes, others might abuse it. But I ain't debating this now.) This poor woman looked mortified and I wanted to yank the young cashier to the side and tell him a thing or two. Cause I am really, really good at telling people a thing or two. Or three, or five, or ten. And one day he might need SNAP or WIC or something and be embarrassed and would he want everyone in Giant to know? Could you imagine being the kids with her and worrying that someone from your school might be walking by at the exact moment you are making your announcement to the store? Cause kids do think like that . Verbal tenacity is a blessing and a curse I tell you.
Anyhow, I got home and managed to destroy the kitchen and get dinner made, and my reward is sitting here an not cleaning it up. Well, yet anyhow. I've got to get it up before I go to bed because the rain has made it impossible for all of my city's ants to live outside so they have taken up residency in my kitchen. Sigh.
Olivia is hollering for food and I think Mark may have duct taped Charlotte to the couch in an effort to get her to sleep. But alas I am wrong and she is according to Mark, "tearing out everything." And you know what, I don't think I care enough to stop her.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Buried Treasure
I wrote this blog more than a year ago and realized I never published it. Maybe the friend I wrote it for needs it now more than ever.
I listen to alot of Christian music in the car. I listen to it for a lot of reasons....I don't want Isabel in the car listening to Kane on 99.5 - he's gross and likes to exploit all that is wrong with this world for laughs. It's disgusting. Anyhow, most of the time I listen to 95.1 or 91.9 because I like it. Lame Christian radio or not, I still like it.
I was in the car the other day thinking about making myself a modern day mixed tape to give to a friend going through a hard time. I know that this person doesn't normally listen to this type of music so I was trying to think about all of the songs I love from various artists that I would put on this "mixed tape" that would speak into their situation. There are so many good artists out there right now...from Mandisa to Natalie Grant to Chris Tomlin and Chris August. But I remembered a Sanctus Real song that I loved....a specific lyric that I loved that I wanted to share with everyone.
The last album that they came out with had a song on there that was very different from their usual style and it was called, Forgiven. There is one particular line in this song that I love. It says, "when I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ."
I love that line. "when I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ." No one loves me like He does. And when my whole world is crashing down around me and my life is falling apart, and I'm facing a mountain I feel I can't climb, this is how I will define myself.
I listen to alot of Christian music in the car. I listen to it for a lot of reasons....I don't want Isabel in the car listening to Kane on 99.5 - he's gross and likes to exploit all that is wrong with this world for laughs. It's disgusting. Anyhow, most of the time I listen to 95.1 or 91.9 because I like it. Lame Christian radio or not, I still like it.
I was in the car the other day thinking about making myself a modern day mixed tape to give to a friend going through a hard time. I know that this person doesn't normally listen to this type of music so I was trying to think about all of the songs I love from various artists that I would put on this "mixed tape" that would speak into their situation. There are so many good artists out there right now...from Mandisa to Natalie Grant to Chris Tomlin and Chris August. But I remembered a Sanctus Real song that I loved....a specific lyric that I loved that I wanted to share with everyone.
The last album that they came out with had a song on there that was very different from their usual style and it was called, Forgiven. There is one particular line in this song that I love. It says, "when I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ."
I love that line. "when I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ." No one loves me like He does. And when my whole world is crashing down around me and my life is falling apart, and I'm facing a mountain I feel I can't climb, this is how I will define myself.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Lil Wayne - Dethroned at last!
I spoke to Isabel's teacher today. I was glad that she called me back this morning. Points to her, some teachers take forever to call back.
I am happy to say that the conversation went well and that I don't think Lil Wayne will be making anymore appearances in Isabel's classroom. I wish I could say that he won't be making an appearance in any classroom but sadly I don't think that will be the case. This teacher got the article from another social studies teacher who got it from another teacher. The teacher who chose the article thought it would be someone the kids could relate to - they used it last year and the kids really liked it.
I was shocked, and I asked this woman if she had actually read the article. She had. That was even more shocking. I asked if she realized it contained a link to his website, that the lyrics to his number one song had words that I would be uncomfortable repeating to her....she responded that she was not trying to encourage the kids to buy his cd or look up his lyrics.
I'm certain it wasn't deliberate, but accidental influence is no excuse. She is in a position of power in these kids lives and I expect better judgement from someone who could be so positively influential. Middle school or not, these are still kids. They may think they are grown but they are not. And on a daily basis you see my child more than I do when I'm sitting behind a desk all day. I need you to not only be an educator but also a good role model for my daughters.
I explained that Mark and I did not allow Isabel to listen to Lil Wayne, and that he was not someone we hoped our children would aspire to be like. She was apologetic which made the conversation easier for I was afraid she was going to be defensive about her choice. I explained the reasons I was disappointed, the glorification of his career, his jail time, and his family lifestyle. I explained that in the future I would like to see people of integrity for our children to study. I mean, why not pick the president? I'm no Obama fan but at least the man is modeling a healthy family life, is educated and has never been in jail. What about Olympic athletes? Even Micahel Oher from the Ravens (The Blind Side movie)? There are so many good people to choose from, why highlight the negative? I was glad that she was so responsive and I was able to explain my concerns to her. It is disheartening to know though, that this article has been used in multiple classrooms for at least two years and yet not one other parent has expressed concern.
Boy is this parenting thing hard. You work constantly at trying to lead a Godly life, which is hard enough itself just for my own benefit but the added layer of knowing that my eleven year old is watching and modeling everything I do is mounted pressure. I pray daily that the things that Mark and I pour into our kids will stick....because Satan is doing everything he can to devour the next generation.
I am happy to say that the conversation went well and that I don't think Lil Wayne will be making anymore appearances in Isabel's classroom. I wish I could say that he won't be making an appearance in any classroom but sadly I don't think that will be the case. This teacher got the article from another social studies teacher who got it from another teacher. The teacher who chose the article thought it would be someone the kids could relate to - they used it last year and the kids really liked it.
I was shocked, and I asked this woman if she had actually read the article. She had. That was even more shocking. I asked if she realized it contained a link to his website, that the lyrics to his number one song had words that I would be uncomfortable repeating to her....she responded that she was not trying to encourage the kids to buy his cd or look up his lyrics.
I'm certain it wasn't deliberate, but accidental influence is no excuse. She is in a position of power in these kids lives and I expect better judgement from someone who could be so positively influential. Middle school or not, these are still kids. They may think they are grown but they are not. And on a daily basis you see my child more than I do when I'm sitting behind a desk all day. I need you to not only be an educator but also a good role model for my daughters.
I explained that Mark and I did not allow Isabel to listen to Lil Wayne, and that he was not someone we hoped our children would aspire to be like. She was apologetic which made the conversation easier for I was afraid she was going to be defensive about her choice. I explained the reasons I was disappointed, the glorification of his career, his jail time, and his family lifestyle. I explained that in the future I would like to see people of integrity for our children to study. I mean, why not pick the president? I'm no Obama fan but at least the man is modeling a healthy family life, is educated and has never been in jail. What about Olympic athletes? Even Micahel Oher from the Ravens (The Blind Side movie)? There are so many good people to choose from, why highlight the negative? I was glad that she was so responsive and I was able to explain my concerns to her. It is disheartening to know though, that this article has been used in multiple classrooms for at least two years and yet not one other parent has expressed concern.
Boy is this parenting thing hard. You work constantly at trying to lead a Godly life, which is hard enough itself just for my own benefit but the added layer of knowing that my eleven year old is watching and modeling everything I do is mounted pressure. I pray daily that the things that Mark and I pour into our kids will stick....because Satan is doing everything he can to devour the next generation.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Lil Wayne - Only in PGCounty
My fingers can't move fast enough to get out all of the things I want to say. Isabel came home from school today and handed me a wikipedia article that they read in World Culture/Geography class today. The assignment was to read it and write down two facts and two opinions. Guess who the article was about?! You are never going to guess because no parent or teacher in their right mind would think that Lil Wayne is an appropriate person for our kids to be focusing on. What was this teacher thinking? This man has 4 children by three different women, the last two were born within two months of one another. Not to mention that he became a parent at the age of 15. He's also served jail time for weapons charges. While in jail he was able to release another album. Hmmm, great all good things so far, right??
The article glorifies this guy....."With well over ten million in sales, unquestionable street credibility, critical acclaim, industry accolades, eight Grammy nominations, and four Grammy wins for his multi-platinum selling album The Carter III, Cash Money/Universal Mowtown recording artist Lil Wayne has firmly laid to rest all doubt that he is anything less than the best rapper alive today. Wayne's silky flow, along with his uncanny ability to weave incredible metaphors and similies wrapped in taunt rhymes accented by witty punch lines, compel rap fans around the world to hang onto his every word whenever his records are being played." (Emphasis is mine.)
Incredible lyrics huh? Guess what his incredible lyrics include? Sex, sex and more sex....with anyone...doesn't matter, with some violence mixed in.....mainly just garbage about women and how to treat them. Just google the words to his hit song Lollipop, also mentioned in the article and see for yourself what kind of garbage this man sings about. Not exactly what I want my eleven year old daughter to be singing along to.
I asked Isabel if the class had a conversation about Lil Wayne, about his life, his choices, anything....nope. Nothing. So basically, read this article glorifying this rap star and form your own opinion about him kids. No reason to point out that maybe his lifestyle isn't exactly something to be modeled.
Of all the good, honest, hardworking people she could have chosen she picked Lil Wayne. Last time I checked the class title was World Culture not Pop Culture. And believe me there is a huge difference. I already called the school and left a message for the teacher to call me to discuss this article. I'm going to try to be as polite as possible but if she can't assure me that this won't happen again I think I'll be calling the principal. For heaven's sake it even gives a link to Lil Wayne's website, which I of course scoped out. It's basically a link so you can preorder his explicit cd or his the deluxe explicit cd. I'm thinking there's a teacher out there who didn't research what she was handing our children ahead of time. Stop trying to be cool and just be their teacher. Stop filling their heads with garbage and wondering why we don't get better results. Stop wondering why we have so many thugs here, why so many of our young people end up in jail, or on drugs. If this is what we model for them, no wonder.
The article glorifies this guy....."With well over ten million in sales, unquestionable street credibility, critical acclaim, industry accolades, eight Grammy nominations, and four Grammy wins for his multi-platinum selling album The Carter III, Cash Money/Universal Mowtown recording artist Lil Wayne has firmly laid to rest all doubt that he is anything less than the best rapper alive today. Wayne's silky flow, along with his uncanny ability to weave incredible metaphors and similies wrapped in taunt rhymes accented by witty punch lines, compel rap fans around the world to hang onto his every word whenever his records are being played." (Emphasis is mine.)
Incredible lyrics huh? Guess what his incredible lyrics include? Sex, sex and more sex....with anyone...doesn't matter, with some violence mixed in.....mainly just garbage about women and how to treat them. Just google the words to his hit song Lollipop, also mentioned in the article and see for yourself what kind of garbage this man sings about. Not exactly what I want my eleven year old daughter to be singing along to.
I asked Isabel if the class had a conversation about Lil Wayne, about his life, his choices, anything....nope. Nothing. So basically, read this article glorifying this rap star and form your own opinion about him kids. No reason to point out that maybe his lifestyle isn't exactly something to be modeled.
Of all the good, honest, hardworking people she could have chosen she picked Lil Wayne. Last time I checked the class title was World Culture not Pop Culture. And believe me there is a huge difference. I already called the school and left a message for the teacher to call me to discuss this article. I'm going to try to be as polite as possible but if she can't assure me that this won't happen again I think I'll be calling the principal. For heaven's sake it even gives a link to Lil Wayne's website, which I of course scoped out. It's basically a link so you can preorder his explicit cd or his the deluxe explicit cd. I'm thinking there's a teacher out there who didn't research what she was handing our children ahead of time. Stop trying to be cool and just be their teacher. Stop filling their heads with garbage and wondering why we don't get better results. Stop wondering why we have so many thugs here, why so many of our young people end up in jail, or on drugs. If this is what we model for them, no wonder.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
the recommended list
I did some Christmas shopping on amazon.com this year. I'm sure you're familiar with amazon's personalized recommended list once you've browsed and shopped their website. Here are some of the things on my list:
1. I Love Lucy on DVD Season 5
2. Taylor Swift's CD: Speak Now
3. Apples to Apples Board Game
4. Lenox Simply Fine Chirp 4 piece Dining Set
5. Did Someone Step on a Duck? The Natural History of the Fart
6. Loves Enduring Promise by Janette Oke
7. Apple Ipod Nano
8. Inuyasha: Season 1 DVD
9. T-Fal Signature Hardware 12 Cookware Piece
10. Children's Ministry Volunteers that Stick by Jim Wideman
What's that you say? One of these things is not like the other? One of these things just doesn't belong? Yeah, I though the same thing. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I find nothing funny about farting. In fact, if anyone in my house thinks it might be funny to fart on my fantastic brand new couch I might lash out irrationally and throw them out of the house. Just ask Mark...when his siblings start a laughfest about farting I just about have a heart attack.
It started to really bother me that this book was on my recommended list. It just didn't reflect who I really was at all. Everything else on that list made total sense but that blemish of a book was making me crazy. And of course, I clicked on the book and read the description which of course then added other books like it to my growing list of books about farts. Before I knew it my recommended list looked like that of a stranger, nothing on there truly stood for anything I would purchase. This was bothering me tremendously.
I know it seems petty to be concerned with something so small but I began to equate this list and the things on it to how my life measures up before Christ. I started to wonder what friends and family would add to my recommended list if they could. What does this list truly say about who I am deep down inside? Does it show that I am a Christian, kind, compassionate, forgiving, a devoted parent and teacher? Or does it show my terrible temper, the occassional curse word, my complete and utter lack of patience? If others were to view my list would it matter what they thought? Should I care? Should I care if the list were shown to the world and everyone saw the fart book? Would I be embarassed if every sin I ever committed were exposed for the world to see?
Fortunately for me I can ask Christ for a redo. A clean slate, and new fresh start. He can take that stupid fart book along with every other thing that leaves me blemished and separated from Him and give me that fresh start.
What's on your amazon recommended list? Hopefully not a book about farting. But if there is, I'm sure Jesus has some Febreeze for it.
1. I Love Lucy on DVD Season 5
2. Taylor Swift's CD: Speak Now
3. Apples to Apples Board Game
4. Lenox Simply Fine Chirp 4 piece Dining Set
5. Did Someone Step on a Duck? The Natural History of the Fart
6. Loves Enduring Promise by Janette Oke
7. Apple Ipod Nano
8. Inuyasha: Season 1 DVD
9. T-Fal Signature Hardware 12 Cookware Piece
10. Children's Ministry Volunteers that Stick by Jim Wideman
What's that you say? One of these things is not like the other? One of these things just doesn't belong? Yeah, I though the same thing. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I find nothing funny about farting. In fact, if anyone in my house thinks it might be funny to fart on my fantastic brand new couch I might lash out irrationally and throw them out of the house. Just ask Mark...when his siblings start a laughfest about farting I just about have a heart attack.
It started to really bother me that this book was on my recommended list. It just didn't reflect who I really was at all. Everything else on that list made total sense but that blemish of a book was making me crazy. And of course, I clicked on the book and read the description which of course then added other books like it to my growing list of books about farts. Before I knew it my recommended list looked like that of a stranger, nothing on there truly stood for anything I would purchase. This was bothering me tremendously.
I know it seems petty to be concerned with something so small but I began to equate this list and the things on it to how my life measures up before Christ. I started to wonder what friends and family would add to my recommended list if they could. What does this list truly say about who I am deep down inside? Does it show that I am a Christian, kind, compassionate, forgiving, a devoted parent and teacher? Or does it show my terrible temper, the occassional curse word, my complete and utter lack of patience? If others were to view my list would it matter what they thought? Should I care? Should I care if the list were shown to the world and everyone saw the fart book? Would I be embarassed if every sin I ever committed were exposed for the world to see?
Fortunately for me I can ask Christ for a redo. A clean slate, and new fresh start. He can take that stupid fart book along with every other thing that leaves me blemished and separated from Him and give me that fresh start.
What's on your amazon recommended list? Hopefully not a book about farting. But if there is, I'm sure Jesus has some Febreeze for it.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
life restored
I will always remember 2010 as the of restoration. I married a wonderful man who loves Isabel like she is his own daughter and bought a fabulous house in which to raise a family. God is a good God. It wasn't that long ago that I was wondering if I would ever be able to stand on my own two feet. Then God got a hold of me and helped me to realize that it is never my feet on which I stand, but always the solid rock which he has place me on.
A year of restoration. I almost let Satan steal it from me too. When Mark and I got the news about Charlotte Grace we were obviously devestated. I wish, looking back, that I would have been able to see what the Lord was working out for me. But hindsight is 20/20, we all know that. And I suppose that part of the beauty of the journey is learning that I was never destined to live this life on my own but instead live it in God's redeeming grace and salvation. Since getting the amnio results and discovering that this baby girl is healthy I have had lots of time to ponder over what I would say in my next blog. I agonized over how to explain all that has been going on inside of my heart and head. It didn't come to me until New Year's Eve. We had gone to bed and I was laying there awake thinking over the events of 2010. My marriage, my house, my daughter, my new car, my fun job at the church, my not so fun job at the office...just thinking over things I had been blessed with. I can't tell you what a difference it was for me to fall asleep thinking about all of my blessings instead of all of my mistakes and selfish desires. In that moment before my eyes completely closed and my mind drifted off to peace I felt it in my heart: I will always remember 2010 as the year that God brought restoration to my life.
I was 18 when Isabel was born, 19 when I got married, and 20 when the marriage fell apart. From there it was just an uphill battle. I allowed Satan to wreak havoc in my life for a couple of years before I returned to church and admitted to myself and to God that I had tried on my own and failed miserably. From that moment on he set my feet on a path that would guide me to this beautiful life I have today. I will never be sorry I followed Jesus and I will never be able to thank Him enough for restoring to me a life that I had almost thrown away with my foolish behavior.
Job 5:8-9: "But if I were you I would appeal to God, I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."
A year of restoration. I almost let Satan steal it from me too. When Mark and I got the news about Charlotte Grace we were obviously devestated. I wish, looking back, that I would have been able to see what the Lord was working out for me. But hindsight is 20/20, we all know that. And I suppose that part of the beauty of the journey is learning that I was never destined to live this life on my own but instead live it in God's redeeming grace and salvation. Since getting the amnio results and discovering that this baby girl is healthy I have had lots of time to ponder over what I would say in my next blog. I agonized over how to explain all that has been going on inside of my heart and head. It didn't come to me until New Year's Eve. We had gone to bed and I was laying there awake thinking over the events of 2010. My marriage, my house, my daughter, my new car, my fun job at the church, my not so fun job at the office...just thinking over things I had been blessed with. I can't tell you what a difference it was for me to fall asleep thinking about all of my blessings instead of all of my mistakes and selfish desires. In that moment before my eyes completely closed and my mind drifted off to peace I felt it in my heart: I will always remember 2010 as the year that God brought restoration to my life.
I was 18 when Isabel was born, 19 when I got married, and 20 when the marriage fell apart. From there it was just an uphill battle. I allowed Satan to wreak havoc in my life for a couple of years before I returned to church and admitted to myself and to God that I had tried on my own and failed miserably. From that moment on he set my feet on a path that would guide me to this beautiful life I have today. I will never be sorry I followed Jesus and I will never be able to thank Him enough for restoring to me a life that I had almost thrown away with my foolish behavior.
Job 5:8-9: "But if I were you I would appeal to God, I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."
Thursday, December 9, 2010
my spoken words
Words are so powerful. They can build you up or break you down. I have a natural God given ability to speak. I love to talk, talk to people, strangers in the grocery store, or even stand in a room full of people and give a speech. So of course talking to God is something I have always found to be rather easy. I guess I've never felt like I have to be proper with God, He can handle my conversation. And so last Friday I was on my way home from work and I was talking to God. Out loud in the car. I know the people at the light next to me must have thought I was crazy because I was rather animated in my speech. But I was telling God how hard this was, how alone and betrayed I felt and how all of this just wasn't fair. I wanted a healthy baby....why was that too much to ask. Millions of women have them every year....why did I have to be the 1 in 3000?? I was pouring my heart out. I told him that I was ashamed of how small my faith was....that it was so easy to give lip service to the issue of trust. So easy to talk about having trust in Him when times are good. Now that times were hard I wanted to be able to lean on Him, I know that He is drawing me closer to Him through all of this but I'm human and at the end of the day I still want a healthy baby. Will I absolutely accept the path that God has for me even if that doesn't include a healthy baby? I know I will...I will still love Him even if this baby dies. Do I still pray for the miracle?....yes....I want my God to overcome this for me. And I told Him that....I told Him that I needed Him to make this right but that it was "hard because I've never had to trust you to overcome death for me before." And that is when God replied to all of my talking....he was so simple and quiet when He said "that's not true."
"That's not true." How could I be so...so...I don't know...stupid? Of course Christ has overcome death! That's the basis of being a Christian!! What was wrong with me? I was walking around like the King of Kings was still in the grave. He had overcome death, the only one to have ever done so and I was talking to Him in the grave. I admitted my idiocy to God. I mjst ahve said it a thousand times....I'm an idiot. I AM an IDIOT. I'm an idiot. In all honesty I was secretly hoping for a miracle but walking around preparing for the worst just in case God didn't fix this. My strategy was to hope for the best possible outcome while preparing my heart to bear unimaginable sorrow. You can't prepare or train your heart to bear disappointment by meditating on the worst case scenario. Now I concentrate on hope while I'm building up faith.
"That's not true." How could I be so...so...I don't know...stupid? Of course Christ has overcome death! That's the basis of being a Christian!! What was wrong with me? I was walking around like the King of Kings was still in the grave. He had overcome death, the only one to have ever done so and I was talking to Him in the grave. I admitted my idiocy to God. I mjst ahve said it a thousand times....I'm an idiot. I AM an IDIOT. I'm an idiot. In all honesty I was secretly hoping for a miracle but walking around preparing for the worst just in case God didn't fix this. My strategy was to hope for the best possible outcome while preparing my heart to bear unimaginable sorrow. You can't prepare or train your heart to bear disappointment by meditating on the worst case scenario. Now I concentrate on hope while I'm building up faith.
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